Sioux Falls
by swells55
Summary: Based on a sentence from The Price of Salt that didn't get mentioned in the film, so I thought I might develop it a bit. "They discovered a one-ring circus that night besides a railroad track in a town called Sioux Falls." (Chapter 16, The Price of Salt)
1. Chapter 1

Based on a sentence from The Price of Salt that didn't get mentioned in the film, so I thought I might develop it a bit.

" _They discovered a one-ring circus that night besides a railroad track in a town called Sioux Falls_." (Chapter 16, The Price of Salt)

Therese woke up with a slight jolt as the car came to quick stop.

"Therese, my darling, get up," said Carol, who had nudged her gently on her shoulder. It took Therese a few seconds to remember where she was. She looked outside the car window to see a giant tent highlighted by bright colours in the night sky, mounds of people approaching and leaving the piercing lights in their vicinity.

"Have you ever been to a circus?" Carol glanced at her through the interior rear view mirror with a mixture of mischief and whimsy.

"No."

Therese had never had the chance. To be honest, she knew little about what they actually consisted of. While she was still in school, whenever the circus happened to come into town, Sister Alicia always displayed a subtle disdain for those "carnies" and their lifestyle. From then onwards, Therese had a rather curious outlook on those mysterious marquees that whisked in and out of towns like nomadic gusts of winds. She did recall a conversation with Richard, who long ago had suggested they go see a trapeze act. Unfortunately, Therese usually worked long hours at any temp. job she could find and had missed most opportunities to go. Who would've known, she thought, that her first time at the circus would be with this woman, who had come into her life just as randomly as these performers and their tricks? But I suppose, she meandered in her mind, that with Carol, she had done things she wouldn't ever had imagined possible- she lacked the initiative or nerve. To be honest, she admitted to herself, she was still in complete disbelief of the events that took place in Waterloo, at the very mention of which still brought her blissful anxiety.

Carol's eyes lit up and proceeded to park the car. She spotted a space immediately amongst the dozens of poorly positioned vehicles.

"Well then," she said, excitedly putting the gear shift on R, meeting Therese's eye for only a few seconds.

"There's a first for everything."

She had an idea of what kind of scene it would be. Weird strangers doing weird things, was it not? Fluorescence exuded from the multiple stalls that surrounded the massive marquee, located in what seemed to be an abandoned lot. The giant tent of red and white stripes beckoned intrigue and phenomenon like a freakishly sized homing beacon planted in the ground. Therese didn't realise how fast she was walking towards it until she looked back to see Carol, a few metres behind her, looking delighted at her clear enthusiasm.

"Have you really, never been to the circus?"

"No…I had never had the time."

"Well, isn't that just adorable? Come on then." Carol took playfully by the hand and pulled her onwards. Therese's palm tingled at the touch of Carol's, both of them looking around for signs of anybody who might be watching.

"I'll show you my favourite parts."

The smell of sweet candied apples and freshly popped kettle corn danced along the air with the sounds of laughter and accordion music. Therese had never had such a fully sensory experience anywhere else in her life. The food, which was already exotic enough for her bland diet to begin with, was nothing compared to the sort of folk that were ambling around. An extremely muscular and short man with a ponytail and a bar handle moustache, wearing nothing but a tight green leotard, walked passed Therese, yelling something in a foreign language at someone behind them. Her gaze trailed his path and landed on Carol, who was smoking a cigarette and looking straight at her. She was bemused and seemed utterly unfazed by the events taking place around her.

"I've never seen anything like this before." Therese said as she gawked at everything, as if she were on a different planet. She felt like a child again, and was starting to feel the sense of wonder that gradually diminishes as one grows older. Carol was looking fixedly at her, watching from behind, never getting too close but always within reaching distance. Therese could feel Carol following her movements, and suddenly felt very embarrassed.

"I'm sorry." She felt her face bloom a slight tinge of pink, put her hands in her pockets and started to look timidly at the floor. Therese was reminded of the conversation of how "young" Carol viewed her to be. She became incredibly self-conscious of the way she was behaving; she felt silly for it.

"Don't be. I was the same when Harge took me the first time."

She had such a deep smile in those grey eyes.

"Actually, I find it rather endearing…You remind me so much of Rindy."

She laughed and teased as she put her arm around Therese's shoulder. Therese was surprised and found herself suddenly engulfed in the familiar fur coat that sheltered Carol. Carol had always been a little taller than her, so she seemed to be the perfect fit, Therese thought, like she was always meant to have Carol's arm wrapped around her. She felt warmth inside of her spread, as if her heart was a furnace that was pulsating comfort throughout her entire body. She had loved the distinct odour that was a mixture of tobacco and perfume, loved the woman who wore it, forgetting instantly about her awe and bashfulness.

To see Carol acting so casually was, however, rather strange. They normally refrained from any kind physical contact to keep a low profile. A low profile of what, Therese thought, she was not sure, but she knew instinctively that it was a private affair. That only behind closed doors could they truly display their affections openly. She whispered in Therese's ears.

"Don't worry, no one will be looking at us while there's a bearded lady over there." She nodded towards a woman on the right, who had a gloriously long and luscious beard that reached the floor. She had an obscene amount of piercings and was wearing what Therese could only assume was a green wig, tied into a multitude of thick, plastic-like braids. So stunned by the existence of this incredibly fascinating sight, Therese didn't even see that Carol was guiding her into a small tent.

\- to be cont.

let me know if you guys like it :D feedback welcome


	2. Chapter 2

She felt Carol's hands slowly latch away from her back, leaving Therese feeling deflated. The warmth diminished and she noticed the chilly breeze brush behind her. She understood now what it was like to be a lion without its' mane.

The tent seemed meant storage, filled with all kinds of odd objects and bundles, boxes of unknown objects that seemed dangerous and fun all at once. It was a small space, roughly the size of the motel rooms that Carol and her had shared during their travels. Carol was pacing slowly in deep observation, dragging gloveless fingertips on dusty surfaces. Then, as if a sudden realisation, she stepped towards the entrance- a mere draped piece of canvas held up by some rope attached to the scaffolding that held the whole structure together. She stopped and paused to listen just a further few feet away. There was a muffled cheer and applause, accompanied by music which evoked an upbeat but trance inducing energy. Carol looked around the outside of the tent calmly, stepped inside it, and untied the knotted ropes from the ceiling; the canvas fell dramatically.

"Carol, what are you doing?" Therese said. It all happened very fast. Before she could comprehend where they were, what Carol was attempting to do, Carol appeared in front of her and softly stroked Therese's face. Therese was completely silent, as she always was during intimate moments like this- and was stunned to see Carol beaming.

"Just give me one more moment." Carol said as she turned away. She began tying the ropes on the floor to a heavy looking suitcase, closing the gap that made the entrance. Now Therese understood. She hastened to help Carol, securing the other side to a piece of equipment. She tested the strength and tautness- it would be hard to burst inside the tent without some obvious struggle. She imagined a child running into the entrance only to bounce back or recoil from the toughness of the material- the barrier between them and uninvited attention. Therese was impressed by Carol's ingenuity.

"When did you plan this out?" Therese helped Carol to her feet. They stood face-to-face. Therese precariously slid one hand into Carol's, then both, all fingers organically interlacing.

"While you were so occupied with novelty of this place, I have to admit, I got a little jealous." Their hands were playing something of a game with each other.

"Then I saw this little tent on the side."

Therese was laughing on the inside. What a fool I am, she thought, for feeling so flustered earlier.

"You're not the only one can design a set."

Carol winked, and Therese looked coyly at her.

"I also noticed that the show started at 8:30, and as much as I did very much want to take you to see the show...The opportunity presented itself to me. I was never one to turn away temptation where it is deservedly due."

Their foreheads leisurely met in the solitude of the dark storage tent, only lit by a meagre but reliable chamber lamp. Therese stopped again to fully appreciate the extent of their height difference. She took Carol's hands, joined with her own, and kissed them. She thought she could taste the orange-red polish that decorated Carol's nails, lavish embellishments only fit for the air of elegance that Carol had about her. Carol was decadent- now, a personal and exclusive indulgence. It occurred to Therese that it was peculiar for Carol to willingly find herself in such a place, incongruent to the magnificence of "Mrs. H. F. Aird," but she deduced that Carol probably did it for the sake of this spontaneous moment. Solely because it would allow it. And Therese was starting to realise that moments like this were going to be rare.

Both their eyes were closed, shut tightly in the flicker of dim candle light. Neither could hear the reactions happening outside. The external world was unseen and mute. Only they existed in this strange enclosed space. Therese only now noticed how tired her eyes seemed to be, feeling the strain inside her eyelids. They so often had given each other such poignant stares (this was before they had come to confirm what was true from the first time they're eyes met) that they rarely ever stopped looking at each other. Even when Carol was asleep, Therese would find herself studying Carol's breathing patterns as she slept, lovingly taking in the absolute certainty that Carol was at peace, not worrying about her divorce, about what Harge was going to do, or about Rindy, but hopefully, dreaming of something beautiful. Perhaps even, of Therese.

She would always come to recall their first meetings; how Carol's electrifying glimpse would last for a few, very intense occasions, only to look away shyly a second later. A retreating cycle of pulses that diffused as conversations lingered, gradually building up like ocean waves that fell then rose on repeat. Things were better after Waterloo. They were different. Carol's intensity remained, but it was...comfortable.

Perhaps they were tired of conveying hidden messages, Therese pondered. It was wonderful enough to be able to just exist alongside each other without having to hide their connection. Without the constant presence of commercial objects and a societal pressure that commanded continual oppression on how they felt about each other. No matter how much they were reminded, both Carol and her knew that it was not possible for this to be something "wrong." Their love was an epiphany of sensations on Therese's part. She had never understood what desire was until now. That one person could occupy the vacancy of the mind, and how that they very same thirst could be reciprocated back for a tumultuous chaotic peace that made acute every nerve ending on the skin.

Yet even Therese acknowledged that she might've thought it "eccentric" for two women to fall in love with each other...had she not fallen in love with Carol, that is.

Carol held Therese's face, and kissed her fully on the lips. It was long, sensual salutation with the lips, driven with the excitement of the small risk involved. Therese embraced Carol's waist, feeling almost bestial; she wanted to rip the fur coat off of her to devour and be devoured. Instead, she reached inside the coat and felt Carol's solid figure, which, no longer was a thing of her fantasies. She was lost in the pressure; their lips not aggressive but had just enough vigor from each side to indicate the wells of passion that surged between them. Like the forces of gravity that keep atoms together, pushing and pulling at equal yet momentous pressures to maintain the union of the existence.

Their lips parted, Therese, still kissing the hands that remained on the sides of her cheeks, desperate for them to linger, wanted nothing more than to embed them into her own being. They held each other firmly, nested and nuzzled in the comfort of intertwined necks and arms. As if their separation would mean complete and utter devastation. In a way, it did.

"How long is the show?" Therese said in a tiny voice, hoping that it would not break the tenderness.

Carol started to let go of Therese, only to melt back into their embrace.

"Let's not worry about that right now..." Her grasp was firmer now.

Therese didn't dare mention it again.

She felt Therese's touch move up and down her back, brown hair brushing the tip of her nose. She smelt familiar.

It was the smell of Carol herself.

But not exactly; more like an extension of Carol from a different world. Had Carol been Therese's age in 1952, how different would everything have turned out, she thought. No, she chastised herself, this was not the time be thinking such things. Finally, she was with Therese. Not as companions; not even as friends, but as fervent lovers, whose passion, she felt, could burn down the entire one-ring circus they had deliberately entered and ignored.

The question that Therese proposed floated in the air long after she said it. Carol sincerely wanted to be lost in this moment, a precious memory, curated and scheduled by her own doing. She didn't think Therese realised the extent of her own obliviousness; what happened in Iowa a few nights back Carol had foreseen the day she received Therese's Christmas Card from Frankenberg's. Since then, every instance they had alone was a verification of the facts: they had loved each other from the very beginning, and it took Therese some time to comprehend this. Carol, on the other hand, was well acquainted with the pangs of passion. She knew that she never felt it with Harge; with him, it was an obligatory and pragmatic love that she had thought to be appropriate and "what it was supposed to be like." After Abby, she now knew what a sin lust rightfully was.

However, Carol could not be rid of her reservations. As Abby said before, "she's young", and reminded Carol so much of her own aimlessness in her youth. But there was something so exotic about Therese that she did not understand. So alluring was this meek young girl, whose willingness and distance from her own reality was positively enthralling. It was the reason Carol decided to leave her gloves, on a crazy whim that her suspicions might be correct. It was so hard to read her, and Carol hated when she could not tell what someone was thinking. .

Therese kissed her again and her mind fell blank in an instant. Carol, delighted at Therese's newfound sense of sanctuary when they were alone, slipped her own hands down Therese's hips, met the ends of her long dress, and slid them upwards. Therese giggled quietly.

"You are so very charming, Miss Belivet." Carol said, starting to fumble with the multiple layers she now saw Therese was wearing. Her coat and dress kept getting in the way of what she was trying to do.

"But your clothes are not."

They both sniggered, tickled by the fact that the moment was subdued not by disturbance, but by the mechanics of flimsy winter fabrics. They laughed louder, both embarrassed and bewildered by the adolescent nature of their situation. They settled back into an embrace, grey eyes peering through greenish brown ones, which were more effervescent than Carol had ever seen them before. This was sufficient, Carol decided.


	3. Chapter 3

I tried to write from Carol's POV this time :D hope you guys enjoy it and it does Miss Carol justice.

–

She felt Therese's touch move up and down her back, brown hair brushing the tip of her nose. She smelt familiar.

It was the smell of Carol herself.

But not exactly; more like an extension of Carol from a different world. Had Carol been Therese's age in 1952, how different would everything have turned out, she thought. No, she chastised herself, this was not the time be thinking such things. Finally, she was with Therese. Not as companions; not even as friends, but as fervent lovers, whose passion, she felt, could burn down the entire one-ring circus they had deliberately entered and ignored.

The question that Therese proposed floated in the air long after she said it. Carol sincerely wanted to be lost in this moment, a precious memory, curated herself. She didn't think Therese realised the extent of her own obliviousness; what happened in Iowa a few nights back Carol had foreseen the day she received Therese's Christmas Card from Frankenberg's. Knew that every accepted invitation could not have been merely for innocent curiosity. There had been a thunderous pretence in their interaction like a prolonged silence before chaos ensues. Since then, every instance they had alone was a verification of the facts: they had loved each other from the very beginning. And it felt that Therese took some time to properly comprehend this. While it was clear there was a mutual longing (but reluctance to plainly admit it), it had been the reason for Carol's assertiveness most of the time. For Carol, on the other hand, was well acquainted with the pangs of passion. She never quite felt it with Harge; with him, it was an obligatory and pragmatic love that she had thought to be appropriate and "what it was supposed to be like." After Abby, she now knew what a sin "lust" rightfully was.

However, Carol could not be rid of her reservations. As Abby said before,

"She's young."

The thought echoed. Therese reminded Carol so much of her own aimlessness in her youth. But there was something so exotic about her that she did not understand. So alluring was this meek young girl, whose willingness and distance from her own reality was positively enthralling. It was the reason Carol decided to leave her gloves there that day, on a crazy whim that her suspicions might be correct. It was so hard to read her facial expressions, and Carol hated when she could not tell what someone was thinking. Am I keeping her from a normal path, Carol questioned herself continually, or deviating her from the one I had followed, feeling guilty but wondrous for having Therese by her side.

Therese kissed her again and her mind fell blank in an instant. Carol, delighted at Therese's newfound sense of sanctuary when they were alone, slipped her own hands down Therese's hips, met the ends of her long dress, and slid them upwards. She could feel the soft, strong legs that were concealed under the black frock Therese always wore. Therese sighed quietly.

"You are so very charming, Therese Belivet." Carol said, starting to fumble with the multiple layers she now saw Therese was wearing. Her coat and dress kept getting in the way of what she was trying to do.

"But your clothes are not."

They both sniggered, tickled by the fact that the moment was subdued not by disturbance, but by the mechanics of flimsy winter fabrics. They laughed louder, both embarrassed and bewildered by the adolescent nature of their situation. They settled back into an embrace, grey eyes peering through greenish brown ones, which were more effervescent than Carol had ever seen them before. This was sufficient, Carol decided. She was just happy to know with some degree of certainty that Therese was, indeed, looking at her the way Carol had always looked at her too.

A moment without subtext, at long last.

–

stay tuned :)


	4. Chapter 4

hey you guys! this is the last part of this series! i'm thinking of starting one that begins after the movie/book plot ends so please let me know if you guys would want that otherwise i shall continue to write other things xD thanks for reading so far and i would appreciate any commentary or suggestions xxx

–

The distant screams of ovation permeated throughout the scene.

Both Carol and Therese looked towards the entrance with alert. They were not caught in the act, but caught by surprise, pick-pocketed of the affection of that hour. They broke apart and readjusted themselves. Carol patted down her hair, helping Therese unruffle her frock. They grinned at each other while they checked for signs of dishevelment. Then, after undoing the "locks" put in place, Carol pulling Therese by the hand, they made a quick exit from the tent and left for the car park. The show was about finished (according to the ringmaster's bellowing) and they hopped into the car and drove off, like mischievous teenagers fleeing from parental authority. They drove for a few more minutes of bated breathe, Therese even looking behind the car to see if they were being pursued. Carol stopped the car again in an empty shopping plaza parking lot. She took out a cigarette and exhaled relief. How ridiculous of us to be so dramatic, she chuckled to herself.

But not so dramatic either, she thought. Carol had installed an automatic heightened sense of caution ever since they left Waterloo, since their association was now more incriminating than ever. Before, there was no evidence that could point to Therese as nothing more than a close friend who had frequently accompanied her to do many activities. Now, she was a threat more than ever. And Carol hated to think of her that way. How much did she have to risk? She battled her conscience constantly. God I need a drink. She noticed the guilty look on Therese's face.

"What's wrong?" Carol asked, taking a heavy drag and exhaling slowly, making smoke exit her mouth like a dragon. Therese looked smaller than ever.

"Will this always happen? What's going to happen when we get back to New York?" Therese said.

"Yes," Carol said. "Till you get tired of me." Carol heard Therese's faint laugh and her eyes darkened, trying to keep her face in the same jovial position that maintained a light mood. How much would I like to whisk away with you to somewhere else, Carol thought. What did this young person see in her anyways, she had contemplated a hundred times before. As much as Carol had been praised in her own beauty, she knew as much- Harge and several of her friends never seemed to let her forget her own vanity- but Therese was also a magnificent girl of great aesthetics. She remembered saying "You're a pretty girl," upon meeting her that first time, herself feigning nonchalance in the way Carol knew all too well. Therese was a definitely one of those pure souls who didn't realize their own potential and attractiveness, who would find it hard believe anyone would like them the way they liked other people. She could see it in her relationship with Richard, just as Harge was in their own marriage: two rash boys who convinced themselves that love was nothing more than finding someone submissive and handsome who was willing to tolerate their company. Therese's demeanor wasn't passive due to a lack of confidence, but rather a rare innocence that only came without truly knowing oneself. To fully come to terms with ones own self worth and purpose. Therese was worth more than this, she thought, more than a relationship of hiding and shame. Carol didn't want to be the one who tarnished her unadulterated essence, facilitating the bitterness that she herself had grown accustomed to. She tried to put the topic in the back of her brain, but how could she? She had a horrible sensation that something was bound to go wrong. In her experience, the world didn't often allow her to relish in the chances that permitted her happiness…so why should it start now, when she finally felt the true ecstasy of love.

She started up the car again, Therese looking pensively at her, with too much to say yet saying nothing at all. All that she could do was look onto the grey eyes that were concentrating on the road, which were trying very hard not to look back. At some point, they stopped to have supper in Lusk, near the border of Nebraska and Wyoming. Carol immediately ordered a drink from the waiter and Therese ordered the same. When the dry martinis arrived, Therese picked hers up and held it high.

"What'll we drink to?" Carol said, relieved to have alcohol comfortably clutched between her fingers; it was the only way she could fight the constant anxiety that consumed her.

"Us." Therese had declared with a triumphant smile. Carol felt her vision grow slightly blurry, the tears accumulating on the surface of her eyes. She was so pleased, so delighted to have Therese in her life that night. I'm not so lonely after all, she affirmed in her mind. I have Therese, she thought, whom she was sure would come to the ends of the world and back, if Carol had asked her to.

"To us," they clinked glasses and never once looked away from each other. The tears subsided at another consideration. She quickly took a large gulp and tried to distract herself. How could this last?

They spent a quaint evening in Lusk, finding a motel just a few blocks away from the restaurant. As the moon hung radiant in the sky, Carol and Therese once again were tucked together in a lousy bed, making love of a softer nature than the nights before. As if it were a silent acknowledge that their time together was precious, that it should be cherished with a fragile care as delicate as the affection they conceived for one another.

Carol watched Therese sleep long after their lips last pressed against each other in the twilight, her face serene as the sunset that was bound to come. "I love you," she said out loud, wondering if the sentiment would pass into her slumbering thoughts. She gripped Therese harder than ever, finally feeling a peace that only came when a loved one was safe and sound. She fell fast into unconsciousness, their fingers interlaced below the warm linen.

The story continues in the book according. Thanks for reading!


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